In the summer of 2019 I began to get really sick. I hated my job. I wasn’t using my degree. I had no idea what I was doing with my life.

I began to collect words and phrases that gave me hope. I put them all on a little piece of paper in a shoe box and would calligraphy them when I needed some guidance and motivation. I quit my job to focus on my mental health. I dove into my spirituality to try to get me through.

One day I was meditating in my bedroom. I usually fill my lungs with breath for 30 seconds at the end of my mediation. That day, for some reason, I chose to hold for 33. After I meditated, I pulled an oracle card that was numbered 33 and said, “Opportunity: Doors are opening for you, walk through them.” I laughed out loud and thought how the Universe has a sense of humor. I then pulled a post it out of the shoe box and it said “inhale all that the Universe has to offer and exhale anything that no longer serves you.” Since I had already calligraphied that one, I put it on my nightstand and took the box downstairs to pick another.

When I got downstairs, I pulled another. It was the same message. Inhale all that the Universe has to offer and exhale everything that no longer serves you. I immediately heard an intuitive thought: “create a deck.” My logic brain kicked in with all sorts of reasons why I could never do that. I have no background in art. I don’t know the first thing about graphic design. I have no background in business.

I heard another intuitive thought: “count the pieces of paper.”

There were 33.

I burst into tears. I started making the deck the next day. I spent the next year pouring my heart and soul into this deck. It has gotten me through some really dark days. It continues to be a source of guidance and healing that gets me through.